Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 4:1-8

This passage is used in countless wedding ceremonies, both secular and Christian, but how often is it understood? Marriage was not designed to be a fair exchange, yet when our needs aren't being met by our spouse it is easy to give up on them. But God clearly lays out what love is, and set the ultimate example for us to follow. We are fulfilled when we reflect our maker. How often is he ignored, unappreciated, and neglected in relationship? Loving for the sake of the other person strengthens the concept of true love for us, making us feel more truly whole than we could be any other way.

God's will

It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to live with his own wife* in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

*also translated as "control his own body"

Note that it does not say that it will be easy or even natural to live in a way that is holy and honorable, but that we must LEARN to do so. The purpose of marriage is to work out our issues and to learn to be Christlike, not to wake up every morning in some blissful state and skip through the day with someone that only makes us feel good by meeting our needs. Christ actually tells us the opposite; to serve the other and to sharpen each other (it can't feel "natural" to the blade to hit the stone). A comfortable life is not a life that brings us closer to God, our only source of true joy. How we sell ourselves short and disappoint our Maker by chasing after our own idea of happiness.

your rest

Answer me when I call to you,
O my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
be merciful to me and hear my prayer.

How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame?
How long will you love delusions and seek false gods?
Selah

Know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself;
the LORD will hear when I call to him.

In your anger do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.
Selah

Offer right sacrifices
and trust in the LORD.

Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"
Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.

You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.

I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 4

follow your heart?

The world says to "follow your heart", but Scripture says:

The LORD saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. Genesis 6:5

and:

Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.

You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.

Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation—but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Romans 8:5-17

(also read Romans 7:7-8:4)

If we do not model our character and behavior after the character and behavior of the one whose image we were created in, there is no reliable moral standard and we will never be content or free.